A month ago my colleagues in Bishkek sent me a selection of apartments to choose from for my stay here. I briefly glanced at them, said any one was fine, and they very logically chose the one closest to the school. The location is ideal.

A colleague met me at the airport upon my arrival and escorted me to the apartment. I walked in... I think my friends Kathleen and Marina would have burst out laughing: the apartment is pure old-style Soviet: rough wooden floors painted with a super-heavy rubbery paint that you can run a mop over; bathroom without a sink; gas range in miniscule kitchen; a relatively large living room with a fold-out catch and two armchairs; a little area with an additional small couch and wardrobe.

Me, I took one look at it and wanted to slit my wrist and throw myself under a bus. "Damn, I can't live in this place. I'll feel suicidal!" Really, I was so disheartened, especially after coming from the beautiful apartment in Budapest. But it's too late to do anything about it now: it has been rented for two months. Give me a day or two, and I'll be okay with it. I include the pictures below.

Doubtless you want to know what is stored under the bathtub. That's right: two brooms made of straw.